Negative Relationships to Goals

Goal Setting

Goals – Change – New Year

You are given a clean slate every day to change what it is you most desire.

Yet, the New Year seems to always be a great time to plan..

Unfortunately, many women who are sensitive have a negative relationship with goals.

For Jung, conflict is not only inherent in human psychology, but is necessary for growth. In order to become more conscious, one must be able to bear conflict. There are many internal opposites, as well as those experienced in the outside world. If the tension between the opposites can be borne, then out of this clash something new and creative can grow. In Jung’s view, this ‘something’ is a symbol which will contribute to a new direction which does justice to both sides of a conflict and which is a product of the unconscious rather than of rational thought.

The Parts of Us

You may often find yourself resistant to setting goals, or you feel oppressed by goals or aren’t motivated by them, then assume that you have issues with goals.

It’s all is well in your relationship with goals, but sometimes there are parts of us that sabotage achieving the goals we set for ourselves.

Parts can change like people, parts have a similar degree of difficulty in changing.

Effort and Change

Think about the amount of effort and desire it takes to change a long‐standing behavior or thought pattern. It takes some coaching, right?

Our parts also need support and coaching to change long‐standing habits, and they must be motivated in order to succeed.

The most powerful force in the psyche is our parts, like people, respond to love.

When you come into loving relationship with a part, it ripples through your whole psyche. When you open your heart to a part, you open your heart to a larger segment of the human population.

Here are some ideas for setting goals you can manage and following through on them so you feel in control instead of overwhelmed. Note: You CAN achieve the life you dream of! Really.

Talk to the Saboteur

First, talk to the part that is sabotaging you from achieving in order to learn what that part is truly wanting to achieve.

Often, the parts of us are not conscious of its goals until it is asked.

To find a part’s deepest desire for you, establish the part of you that is opposing setting goals,  The Part that wants to change and the Part that keeps doing the what we most desire.

Create an image of the part.  Any metaphoric representation that symbolizes each Part is appropriate.

Does it have a voice, or name?

Fixate your attention on the Part and then ask that Part what its intention is for doing what it’s doing.

You must become an investigative reporter when you first get to know a part. How does it operate? What are its goals? Where did it come from?

What does it want? Wait before trying to make any changes; you must build rapport before negotiating a new relationship. Accept the part exactly as it is before asking it if it wants a new role or relationship.

It behaves the way it does for a reason!

Then ask that Part what its intention is for doing what it’s doing.

Keep repeating that question on whatever ‘answer’ you get, until you arrive at a positive value like love, freedom, joy etc.

Notice that what the Part now know its highest intention and can support you in 2015.

What type of support system can you put into place to help you overcome obstacles?

What concrete action are you going to take to keep the momentum going and continue moving forward to achieve the vision you have for yourself in this key area?

Asking for help is not a weakness but strength, as life doesn’t happen alone.

It takes courage to ask for help – give it a try and watch your goals become more and more achievable – they’ll be within reach and then become reality.