“Talk about the problem!” “Press on their pain points!” “  Which do you do?  What problem is going to trigger the prospect to want to say Yes?”

I bet you are thinking, gee that doesn’t really feel good? My heart aches just thinking about this type of approach, and this is why heart centered service professionals avoid talking about problems.  It is kind of a hush hush!  But really isn’t  this what you solve?

Then I bet you find all this marketing stuff isn’t work for you after hours and months of working on it.  Oops! are you talking to them in their language and in their pain or are you stooping to the same marketing principles that are being taught that seem cohesive and manipulative.  I bet this type of marketing isn’t making the grade for you and you are not feeling a little OR a lot stumped! What do you?

Two answers to this.

First,  Find about what the problems you are trying to solve for you clients!  Easy!

What is a problem? It’s something your potential clients are struggling with. Something that has them stuck, wrestling. Maybe feeling hopeless and overwhelmed.

You can either push on that pain, “Hey! You’re probably terrible about what is going on right now for you! And you are! It’s going to be really painful in the long term, unless you fix it!”

Or you can empathize with the pain, “You have deep inner hunger for what you love to do that is aching to be expressed in the wider world.  You have studied hard to develop your gifts and talents, and of course, you are very good at it.  And I bet you’ve been trying really hard to follow through to get your business up and going but nothing sticks.  Your efforts kick up a little dust, but then fall apart.  What the heck is missing?.  Can you feel that now you are talking about some anguish your customers may be feeling.  True.

Feel the difference? The first one has the intention to “push on a pain point” and the second one… The second one is pure empathy. It’s an open heart seeing someone in pain and acknowledging that pain.

Open-hearted empathy creates a listening space, a heart-connection, and trust. This is incredibly important and powerful, and why you shouldn’t avoid talking about the problem.

So let’s talk about what needs to come before the empathy.

Whose World Is This?

When someone enters your business they are entering your world, your realm. I have a LOT to say about this, but for right now let’s just say that your world is partially defined by the values you carry, by what’s important to you, by the possibility of what you’re creating. It’s the world you’re living into.

We’re talking about a shared worldview, a shared sense of tribe between you and your right people. It’s that sense of belonging.  You really understand them and where they are.  In this space.

When others feel your strength and see you expressing yourself in a open and kind way and see that by doing so encourage them to step into the safety and their own vulnerability, it opens into a natural and easy space for acceptance and for a deeper connection.

This sense of understanding increasing the effectiveness of empathy in what you do, because it is more believable.  It is a characteristic worth understanding and cultivating and this tactic will help you asses your relationship with others.  With an open heart. belonging and shared-values also increases the effectiveness of the empathy, because it’s more believable.

When you combine the trust that arises out of a  being open to asking the questions from an open-hearted empathy for their  problem, you have a winning combination.

People feel seen, you are doing a service by meeting some very core needs.  be a ‘heart warrior’ that is grounded and stable.  Then you can explore standing in their truth while be open and vulnerable.   Every heart has to be witnessed and understand.

And, it also happens to be very effective marketing. When it’s done with sincerity and honesty, it’s magical.. When it’s done dishonestly, from a place of manipulation, it feels gross and racks up hugely bad karma points.

Let’s Break this Down

Take three minutes right now and answer these questions: What do you believe in? What do you stand for? What values are dearest to you?

Now look through your marketing material.  Are you taking that stand? Are you expressing yourself  in a clear and open channel for communication.

Take another three minutes and answer this: What problems are your clients facing? Do you have true empathy for their struggle?

Now back to your material. . Are you talking about their problems in an empathetic way? Or are you pushing the pain?

Are you approaching it with an open heart?   Let’s bring a more heart centered approach to how we express ourselves.